April 27

 Okay, I didn't do any of those things.  

I carried on with life just like normal and here I am almost three months later and three of my charge cards are maxed out and the two others aren't far behind.  

I have one son son moving to the capital city for an internship.   That city with the astronomical rent rates.  

Another son heading east to his college in the fall who needs a dorm room.  

A daughter still at home but needs soooo much help that our crap-ass insurance doesn't cover.  

Oh, you know, and they all like to eat.  

I still live with my husband roommate.  We are not divorced.  I can't afford to divorce him or even separate from him.   That shit costs money.   I have made peace with it.    I wish I could say he pays all the bills but no.  The house is paid for and he fronts the utilities, but I pay for anything for the kids and me and every cent I make (which isn't much) goes towards those bills.   Seriously.   I am supporting three kids in a rent/utility free home but trying to feed and clothe and the rest on $1000 a month.  It's hard.   Basically my plan of attack is to just open new cards everytime I max another just buy groceries.   It's fair to say I am poor even if I live in a gated community and drive a BMW.  

FYI....can't sell either of those to pay the bills because neither are in my name, please don't suggest it.  I have already thought about it. 

I will $400 in cash in a few days and we'll see how far I get with that.  I like beans.  The kids who live here do not.  

So.  It's been a week since I spent any money.  It hasn't been as hard as I though although I do miss my morning Sunjoy.  

I am cleaning out the closet and selling most of it on Ebay.   I won't be going back to the low paying job in the fall.   

Sidegigs?   Any suggestions.  Oddly enough I have actually made money on Solitaire and that is helping to bring my Visa down.  Not enough sadly.   

I am still the happiest I have been in a long time.  When you make the effort to just stay positive everyday no matter what it helps.   Wish I had gone there during the early childhood years......

Anyway, I am poor and happy and figuring it all out.   It's not as scary as I thought it would be but I wouldn't turn down a jackpot bingo win just saying.